Creating The Bubble of Self-Protection

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When I said self-protection I don’t mean the pepper spray or stun gun. Not even a helmet or condoms.

Do you really care about how, where, when and with whom you spend your time? Why? Why does it matter to you? How does it help you in your personal life?

The aim of creating a bubble is not about isolating yourself because you hate everyone, but about self-care, personal growth and self-love.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel compelled to withdraw from the negative elements in order to protect your peace and positive energy? Recently, I have been experiencing some bad days. Low energies and lacklustre. I felt nothing was going my way. This, I assumed is a consequence of me not having ample time to take care of those things that matter most to me. Such things can be a burden. The fact is I cannot be everything to everyone and be in several places at the same time.

I lay on my bed in absolute darkness and quiet and thought about what and who is important to me. I concluded that although there are a few things that are important – I am a priority. I started to think of some of the goals that I’ve set and how much harder I need to work to make them a reality.

What some of these people don’t know is that while I am carrying their load I also have mine. Not because I’m silly, but because of that streak of kindness that is always on my sleeve. I realized I need to pour a lot more into myself and avoid being overburdened. Do you ever find you care too much? We all do from time to time.

Checking in on myself made me understand that I need to become a lot more selfish. The idea provoked a feeling of guilt. However, I was able to view it with a positive outlook and a feeling of enthusiasm.

I feel strongly about the fact that being selfish for the purpose of self-care is valid.

How do you deal with the demands of external elements? Sometimes we do way too much and stretch ourselves. We must stop. Stopping will be the initial step to building your care bubble.

Pausing from overwhelming activities is essential towards emotional, mental and physical health.

Then, I implemented these steps to initiate my self-care bubble.

Press the stop button. You’re overwhelmed. You’re completely drained of energy. You’re about to give up but deep inside you know you’re not a quitter. What do you do? It’s time to press the stop button. And by this I mean – you’re not pausing. Period! You press the darn stop button because it’s time to rest. You’re not a robot. Stop and think. Or do you want to continue in exhaustion? When you stop and think you will realize how much weight you’ve been carrying. At this juncture, you decide whether you will continue or you’ll unburden yourself.

Then disconnect. Make yourself less available to others. This includes your social media accounts. Manage it well to only keep in contact with those that are close to you. This might appear severe but it is an important aspect of self-care and personal development. You can even change your telephone number. Turn off notifications so you won’t feel pressured to communicate with others who are not your priority. Minimize unnecessary conversations especially with those who only want to complain.

The intention. After establishing the necessary cut off perhaps you can keep those close to you as you prepare to shift your focus. We are all wired differently. For me, I’d prefer to be alone while all this is happening as I am inclined to be more productive. Next, write those things that you’ve been working on and was unable to accomplish. Give yourself additional time to finish them. Keep your eyes on the task ahead and work on them every day.

Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission not to be the perfect person, and to make mistakes. Take good care of your health while you’re at it. Practice gratitude, work out and find time for reading. It is a great thing to have peace of mind. Self-care is important but cannot happen if you are drowning in trying to help others. You’ll see that your space will become quieter and more meaningful – away from the distractions into a solitary environment.

Perhaps there are many ways to create a bubble of self-care. This is just one that absolutely worked for me.

4 Strategy to Cultivate Self-Worth

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According to the merriam-webster self-worth can be defined as “a sense of one’s own value as a human.” This, in my opinion, can be interpreted as how an individual views himself or herself as having good qualities, capabilities and accepting yourself wholeheartedly and does not rely on the opinion of others.

How do you value yourself? How do you base your value? Do you base your value on your achievements, the car you drive, the titles you possess? Too many times we place our value on the things that can be taken away from us – things that are temporary and superficial. These things increase our net worth, not our self-worth. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying it’s bad for us to have these things. The problem is that all those can change and leave us feeling worthless. Have you ever imagined how you’d feel if you were to lose everything you have? Would you still feel like you belong to that influential part of society? Would you still feel like you are better than everyone else? Would you still want to be a part of that socialite group? I may hurt you, but hey. When we allow our worth to solely revolve around these things it blinds us from recognizing our real value as a human.

Real self-worth is not defined by external factors, but by an internal state of being that originates from a place of self-love and self-acceptance. It is accepting yourself with all your weaknesses and imperfections after self-analysis. Consequently, whoever you see yourself as is who you are. Additionally, you must be honest with yourself in order to conceive an honest result. Avoid looking for self-worth in things and people.

The importance of self-worth

Self-worth is important in our relationships whether in the workplace, at home, with our friends and even ourselves. It also impacts who we aspire to become. People with a positive view of themselves understand their potential to take on new challenges. Believing in your value is crucial otherwise it’s easy to become a victim of the belief that your value and self-worth rests with other people or your possession. This is how it is generally seen by most people and some may even be offended by this but if you stop and think of the true meaning of the word you will find that it is the total opposite of what you have been believing.

One must value him or herself enough to refuse to settle for anything beneath the bar they’ve set for themselves. This doesn’t mean you are better than everyone, but it sets you apart because you have chosen not to allow external factors to dictate your perception of yourself.

Self-worth and Personal Development

Having a sense of self-worth gives you the confidence to trust your own judgement which is a very important characteristic that can strengthen your effort to achieve your goals. Self-worth can give you the power you need to stand and officiate that meeting you never wanted to do or spend time being a part of a group discussion you hated before.

Here are 5 strategies to cultivate self-worth

Treat yourself with respect Have regard for yourself. Treat yourself the way you would like to be treated. Having self-respect give you a feeling of confidence and pride in yourself. Respecting yourself help you harness the way you perceive things and change how you view yourself.

Practice self-love Taking care of yourself. Prioritizing your needs above others. Let go of toxic people. Quit thinking about what others think of you, stop comparing yourself to other people. This isn’t being self-fish. How can you take care of others if you never take care of yourself? As the saying goes you cannot pour from an empty glass. When you practice self-love you will stop comparing yourself to others.

Construct positive relationships You are in charge of your life. Recognize this and create the outcome you desire. Avoid the blame game and try to resolve issues cordially. Be open and honest in your communications with those you work with and close relatives and friends. Be positive. People who are positive love being around positive people. That kind of energy is transferrable. Respect the people you are around. For successful relationships to take place build positive and healthy connections with like-minded individuals.

Challenge negative beliefs How do you challenge harmful core beliefs? First, try identifying by bringing to mind the thoughts that often come to your mind such as “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unloveable,” or “I’m so poor.” These beliefs shape our reality and should be replaced by positive ones.

Find positive role models The people you surround yourself with will have a major impact on your life. Therefore, who you spend your time with is absolutely important. Find positive models and learn the way they think, their behaviour, and the way they relate to others. Their positivity will motivate you to take the right action and allow you to grow.

Before you go allow me to share this video with you. Hope you like it.

6 Successful Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence

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Self-confidence is the belief and trust in ourselves or a situation or our abilities.

As social animals, I cannot stress enough how important it is for us to be confident in our pursuit of careers and whatever we do in our daily lives. If we want to create an impact in the lives of others we must first have an enormous amount of confidence working for us. This doesn’t have to be egotistical, but more pragmatic and firm. It is not being superior to others, but with the understanding and knowledge that you are enough and proficient.

Self-confidence comes from a consciousness of self-acceptance inside out; a feeling of security knowing you can rely on your skills and abilities. Perhaps there are many other ways to describe self-confidence.

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.”

dalai lama

Negativity has a way of getting into our day to day life by way of communicating with others or our own thoughts. Sometimes these negative elements manage to defeat us and subsequently affect us in such a manner that gives rise to the belief that we are incompetent or incapable. Hence, we become less confident in ourselves.

How do we remove this negativity from our lives? First of all, removing negativity from our lives doesn’t mean we would stop experiencing bad days. It means we can condition ourselves to withstand these elements by controlling how we react to the source of our despondency. Making a conscious effort to manage this can be very effective towards improving our self-confidence. The lack of confidence emanates from various sources such as low self-esteem, stressful life situation, poor parental upbringing, self-criticism, bullying, self-doubt and ridicule. This list isn’t exhaustive.

Benefits of self-confidence

  • Increase self-worth
  • Reduce fear
  • Reduce negativity
  • Healthy and stronger relationships
  • Increase self satisfaction
  • Comfortable when facing challenges
  • You’re motivated to pursue goals
  • You will have a stronger sense of purpose

Research has found that people who are more confident are more inclined to be successful academically. Self-confidence can help us live a more satisfactory life. I said that because when we are confident we are more motivated to pursue and accomplish our dreams.

Below I share with you a video regarding confidence.

In the meantime, I’d like to share with you 6 ways to boost your self-confidence.

Be open-minded This is generally taught to be a positive feature and is a necessity to think critically. This means welcoming new ideas, arguments and information not normally entertained. Being open-minded isn’t easy because some of us are guarded by religious and cultural beliefs and norms that create a barrier for the rational mind. When we are open-minded we allow ourselves to have new experiences and we become more optimistic and more likely to achieve personal growth.

Be decisive Be confident and competent in your decision making. Committing to your decision allow you to build true confidence and your abilities. Avoid being wishy-washy and stick to what you have decided. Being decisive put you in control of your life and less overwhelmed by obstacles.

Surround yourself with positive people Decide that you are special and deserve everything good. Let go of toxic relationships, friends and families. If you want to grow and get better release those things that are holding you back. It is important to surround yourself with positive people because the people you surround yourself with are a reflection of you. Surrounding yourself with positive people will build your self-esteem and give you a sense of security. When you surround yourself with positive people they’ll support your goals and push you to become successful. Am I right? If your network is confident in you – you in turn will be confident in yourself.

Practice positive thinking Having a positive attitude is the practice of focusing on the good things in a bad situation. Develop a positive mindset no matter how bad your current circumstances are. It is about anticipating happiness in an unpleasant situation. As mentioned earlier when you surround yourself with positive people their behaviour will influence you in a positive manner and therefore change your outlook about yourself.

Encourage yourself Being an encouragement to yourself is being self-motivated. There is distraction all around us and many times we find it difficult to speak and think positively toward ourselves. Try being your own best friend and keep a sense of humour. Spend time doing the things you love and inspire you. Encouraging yourself will strengthen your tenacity and build your self-confidence.

Build confident habits What are confident habits? Confident habits are doing the things that make you uncomfortable even though you are afraid. Fear or failure doesn’t stop you from pursuing your ambitions. Speak with confidence even though you are afraid. Focus on your strengths and learn to take initiative particularly at your place of work. This will make your people skills stronger and improve your self-confidence as you become engaged and result oriented.

Building self-confidence is timely. But with constant practice, it becomes easier over time. Do not underestimate the impact on your mind and thoughts. They help to form your action. So, get out of your comfort zone and take action. By doing this, you will inspire confidence in yourself to accomplish what you want.

Creating a Positive Mind For a Positive Environment

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A positive environment is that place that promotes your safety, personal development and goal attainment.

What is a positive environment? A space where positive values, open and honest communication, respect, understanding, empowering, and support bloom. It’s an atmosphere of positivity and optimism. It’s a place where healthy relationships flourish regardless of conflicts that occur. What kind of environment do you prefer to be in?

I love being in an environment of peace and tranquillity. Although I am unable to evade the noise sometimes. I love to be where there’s laughter, mutual respect, understanding, encouragement, protection and where there’s scope for growth.

Whether it’s your workplace or home, having an atmosphere of positivity is important to promoting personal growth. The environment we dwell in impacts our creativity, productivity, and increases our chances for success in whatever we desire.

On the other hand, a negative environment can have a lasting effect on our mood, restrict opportunities for personal growth, educational opportunities, interpersonal relationships and drain our energy. It would take a lot of hard work and courage to enhance your personal growth when you want to improve your lives but chose to remain in an unhealthy environment. Some of us have no other choice. Or perhaps the choice is always ours.

We owe it to ourselves to create an environment in our lives that is conducive to the nourishment of our development. Not many of us are able to thrive in a negative place. Some people do, with much agony. This is because a negative environment requires one to expend a lot more mental energy in order to survive and develop.

An environment where there is positivity, emotional and moral support can affect our behaviour and inspire us to take action. According to Dr Mary Jo Kreitzer, RN, PhD “The environment can facilitate or discourage interaction among people (and the subsequent benefit of social support).” It can also influence people’s attitude and motivation to take initiative and influence their mood.

Below I share a video with you. Listen to the speaker talk briefly about our mindset and our environment and the impact it holds.

How do you change your mindset to create a positive environment

Having a positive mindset is vital to creating a positive environment. This is interpreted as challenging unpleasant situations with a positive attitude. It’s thinking that the outcome of a problem will be in our favour rather than worst.

So how do we create a positive mindset in order to change our environment?

To create a positive mindset one must understand that doing so is a process. Our ability coupled with the desire and determination to progress, and become successful in whatever we are pursuing must align with our thoughts and actions. We all have the potential to attain and become the best version of ourselves.

The power to determine our choices and what we want to achieve belong to us. If the desire and determination are present we can realize the dream that once seemed unreachable. All this requires a lot of positivity. At times there won’t appear to be any. It is not what it looks like during that time, but how we respond to what is happening around us. And this will determine how we progress and accomplish our goals.

If we allow uncertainty to cloud our vision we will constantly question ourselves and doubt ourselves. We must avoid dwelling on the things we cannot control and seek support from those that are like-minded. Develop new skills and reflect on things that we’ve excelled in. Life is filled with uncertainty and worries but that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to defeat. Let uncertainty be the stepping stone towards our achievement.

Avoid being irrationally positive.

Building a mindset of positivity begins with self-assessment and self-talk. Self-assessment will provide us with the opportunity to evaluate ourselves and make judgements based on the standard we have established. This is an important aspect as it eliminates any forms of scepticism and enables us to strive for growth. Self-talk is the way we say things to ourselves. Sometimes we are unaware we’re doing it – it is our inner dialogue and that’s the reason why it’s so important because it largely affects how we feel and what we do. If we want to emphasise positive self-talk we have to shift our inner dialogue. Our inner dialogue influences our thoughts beliefs and ideas.

Here are two examples of self-talk I have the power to change my environment and Fear is only a feeling. It cannot hold me back. Our thoughts affect our emotions and mood. Watch what you think.

A positive mindset is important to give us the things we desire in our lives. A positive mindset will determine the quality of the environment we choose to be in, our attitude towards life, our mental health, relationships and our career.

Am leaving you with this video.

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