If you could give your readers one gift this holiday season what would it be like?
I have been thinking about what I should give my readers this holiday season and came up with the idea of giving a special gift that would be beneficial to you now and in the long run. A gift that wll make a huge contribution to you personal development.
My wish is for you to use this gift for the purpose that is intended. Are we clear? Great!
If I could give you any gift what would it be? After thinking about it thoroughly, I decided that I will give you a special gift that will change you as an individual in an extraordinary way. When you’re given this gift practice and use it to full potential.
I want to give you the gift of self-love and self-validation.
Self-love. Forming a loving relationship with yourself. It involves physical, mental, social, emotional, intellectual and spiritual love. I will not look at them individually but as a whole. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will have in your lifetime. Here is the definition of self-love from http://yourdictionary.com its says, “The instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being; regard for or love of one’s self.”
One of the things we constantly seek, as human is to be love. You know what it is, I know what it is, to do so. Here is an example of self-love: forgiving yourself, setting healthy and workable boundaries etc. When this is given, it feels great. The question is: What happens when you are not receiving love? Do you feel empty? What does that tells you? If you are a person who haven’t practice self-love it will most likely mean that you aren’t worthy enough or you don’t deserve it. These belief system cause you to undermine yourself and create results you never intended for youself.
Out there in the world, people will project on to you who they are. And this can be bad for you if you are seeking it externally . You can end up hating yourself and questioning what your’re doing wrong. But this is what happens when you rely on others to be satisfied in this manner.
Practice self-love. This will come with loving what you hate the most about yourself. Because self-love is about loving the guilt, the ashamed, the insecurities and accepting yourself. It is important to shine a light on these, until then, you will never be able to accept yourself.
There are people who won’t like your style. On the other hand there will be those who will. If you are grounded in yourself. what others think of you or if they don’t like you won’t matter. Think about this. If you were looking to them for acceptance you would be questioning your ability. And that kind of negativity will keep you on a Carousel. Decide today that you are enough, that you get to decide who you are and what you think about yourself. It’s the most beautiful and liberating feeling of all.
Self-validation. According to http://merriam-webster.com validation is accepting your own internal experience, your thoughts and your feelings. For example, you’ll say “it’s okay that I said no to my friends last night,” “It’s normal to feel this way” or “I did my best.”
Needing people to tell you what you are worthy of and how you should feel and think; When this is not given rejection dominates leaving a feeling of unworthiness. And this compels you to act in accordance with societal norms. Remember what self-validation is … understanding and accepting yourselves. Of course, it’s hard for anyone to accept themselves with faults and limitation. When you validate yourself you feel positive about yourself, you understand and respect your emotions, accept all your flaws, and support yourself. Like self-love, this need a lot of practice to make it valid.
A self-validated person is confident and make independant choices and is not dependant on others’ views and opinion to accept themselves. They have the ability to understand and express their inner need without evaluation. A self-validated individated individual can handle complex emotions better than many people and do not need approval for decisions they make for their personal lives.
It is vital to feel worthy and positive of oneself. Develop a positive approach to your feelings and thoughts. This process begins with a full understanding of oneself.
Here’s how you can self-validate.
Be aware of your emotions and thoughts. This will help you to understand how you feel and think. Avoid being critical of yourself, because to self-validate you will have to let your emotions flow for you to accept them. So never try to change them. Emotions can be intense. This is a normal part of life. It’s normal to be happy, sad, and angry don’t punish yourself or those around you for what has transpired. Practice self-love. Praising and affirming your feelings is a good way to care for yourself. Always take good care of your health and give yourself the love you truly need.
Final thoughts. The right place to seek validation is within. You are your own best friend and no one can love and respect you more than you do. Be honest with who you are, love and value your worth and what you are capable of. Don’t buy in to the opinion of others, otherwise this will lead to self-invalidation. It’s good to have feedback but never let that be your reason to feel good because this can destroy you. Practive giving it to yourself and you will create better results.
Happy, happy holidays to all of you.