Have you ever found yourself trying so hard to make your life better and every time you take one step forward – you look back? Looking back not to see how far you’ve come, but to trigger old wounds and allow opportunities for counterproductivity.
Dwelling on the past is one of the biggest hurdles that keep you static. And guess what? Time isn’t waiting on you. Life goes on whether you’re on board or not.
Let me give you an example. You are trying to develop yourself academically, and as soon as your performance peak, your mind takes you back to that time when you were told that you cannot achieve anything. And immediately you feel sad and start to question your potential.
… how about that time you were overcome by self-doubt and never believe you can achieve anything all because you came from a generation of school drop-outs or underachievers.
You question your ability to realize your dreams. A stream of thoughts in your head screaming “you will never amount to anything” – louder than the ones telling you, “you can do this.”
These thoughts are quite consuming and trespass on your will to progress. And perhaps lead to depression but that’s one for the specialist.
Time is precious. Cliche? Don’t waste it on the past. Whether it is people or circumstances. So if you are working on breaking the habit or you don’t know how to break the habit, looking back is not the answer unless you are re-evaluating your life.
Why do you dwell on the past
Dwelling on the past is the same as reading the same book repeatedly and looking forward to a change in the end. Replaying conversations, incidents arguments etc. It is self-defeating. It retriggers the anger, the emotions and the sadness you felt.
So why do you dwell on the past? It can also be your personality or the way you never learn to deal with issues or maybe you are bugged by self-doubt and underestimate yourself.
Why you shouldn’t dwell on the past
The past is where you came from – where you once lived. You shouldn’t dwell on it unless you’re using it as a measurement of performance or how well you are progressing in life.
Our thoughts are never completely free from the past. After all, we are humans but the question is how do we deal with it when it comes rushing back to us. Let’s face it. It is important for us to find a way to manage how these things affect us to stop dwelling on them.
How to stop dwelling on the past
It is important for you to stop dwelling on the past and leave it behind with these 8 tips.
- See the past as an experience you can learn from.
- Be mindful and stay focus on the present and have more control over your thoughts.
- Forgive yourself and those who have wronged you.
- Express yourself by using a journal to write how and what you feel.
- Jolt your mind out of obsessive way of thinking negatively.
- Create distance between you and those who have wronged you; for the sake of balance.
- Allow yourself to process your emotions.
- Get to know yourself better so the next time those negative thoughts comes you can say “no that’s not me.”
Often time we deal with emotions that are difficult to deal with. But bear in mind that dwelling in the past isn’t always bad because the past also is full of exciting events we are able to learn and reflect on. And this ability is a great gift to mankind.
So the problem of dwelling in the past is that there is a problem that was created and our curious minds keep nurturing the issue in order to resolve it. But when we can recognize these problems we are already on a journey out of the problem. Because by recognizing them you demonstrate the ability to work and resolve them.
Don’t miss the opportunity to “work on yourself” and use the negative experiences for learning, reflection and improvement.